Word Life!

I tried to write a bio but it was too bland. So rather then bore you with generic info about myself, I thought I would do a Q&A interview instead. Who’s the best person to interview me you may ask? Well that’s easy — me!

Thanks for sitting down with us Mr. Centeno. So where to begin…. let’s get down to the basics: where are you from?

No problem! Well, I was born and raised in Bronx, NY. When I was young, my family moved to Orlando, FL.

So you’re one of those Yankees then?

Yeah, you can say that,  … but I would prefer damn Yankee.

Oh, I’m sorry [rolls eyes]…. damn Yankee. But didn’t you live in Florida for a good part of your life? Wouldn’t that make you more of a “Floridian”?

[Sighs] Yeah, I’m also a Floridian.

It’s ok, no one wants to claim America’s wang as their home state. So you attended high school in Florida?

I did, I attended Winter Park High School and I graduated in 2001.

What did you do after? 

In the Fall of 2001, I went to Samford University.

Wow! Stanford?! That’s amazing, congrats!!

No, Samford… S-A-M-F-O-R-D. It’s in Birmingham, Alabama. It’s an amazing school and ….

I’m sure it is. [laughs]

Are you laughing at my school?

Anyway, do you share your classroom/trailer with members of… hmm..  I don’t know…. the KKK?

 [Annoyed] That’s very stereotypical of you. Alabama is a great state

Wow, that’s a big word for an “Alabamian”. I’m impressed, not as impressed had you went to Stanford. Anyway, is there any other info you want to divulge to make people even care lesser about you?

Well, I’m Hispanic… if you even care, jerk.

I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you well cause I almost threw up. Did you say Hispanic?

Yes… 

Are you fluent in Mexican then?

No, I’m Puerto Rican. But to answer your question, yes, I have a pretty good grasp on spanish… not Mexican. [Pauses] This interview sucks, I’m going to punch you on your next stupid comment.

Pitty, los Mexicanos are nice people… you should learn their language sometime. Violence? It doesn’t suit you… you don’t look like much of a threat weighing in at 120 pounds.

You mean 130 [Punches interviewer in ribs]. 

[Groans] Owe…. all I can say to that is… Yo quiero Taco bell.

 What?!

I know you don’t understand what I said since you can’t speak Mexican. [Composes himself] So Mr. feather weight, what are you doing now?!

 Well, thanks for asking. I’m at Samford and I will graduate in December with a major in Political Science.

What?! You’re still in college? Shouldn’t you have graduated already?

[Glares] I should have, yes. But I took a year off to save money and recharge. It’s not an abnormal thing, many students take 5 years to get a degree.

Yeah, we call them doctors.

This interview is over; I hope I left you with a bruise.

Fine with me, you’re boring as hell. And besides, I think I’m bleeding internally. I’m off to the hospital….

 Hehehe

By the way Hiram, I don’t like you very much.

The feeling is mutual.